What I Wish I Knew Before Labor & Postpartum.
Are you expecting a baby? Then this post should be super helpful for letting you know how best to prepare for postpartum. Are you already a mom? If so, leave a comment below with something you wish you knew before your labor and postpartum to help the soon-to-be mamas out there.
I’m officially over a month into motherhood, and I finally feel ready to sit down and write about what I wish I knew about labor and postpartum.
If your algorithms are anything like mine, you probably see pregnancy and motherhood content on your social media feeds. I saw post after post about the things I should buy for myself and my baby (probably because people can put affiliate links in that content to monetize it), but I didn’t see any tips and advice that didn’t just include product recommendations.
Today, I want to dive into what I wish I had known without filling it with more things you should buy before you have your baby.
We’re going to be talking about:
What to prepare for.
Things to bring to the hospital.
Diapers.
What really goes on downstairs after having a baby.
Preparing for postpartum.
Crafting a list for postpartum.
Prepare for the birth you want and the one you don’t want.
I am not tough. I knew from the moment those two pink lines showed up on the pregnancy test that I would be getting an epidural the second I felt too much pain.
Throughout my entire pregnancy, people would ask me if I planned to go natural or medicated, and I would honestly tell them that I didn’t plan to be tough and that I wanted to get the epidural the second I felt pain.
The main reason was I wanted to be present in my birth; I wanted to be able to focus on my baby once she got here and not the crazy pain I anticipated being in without an epidural.
So, during labor, after my water broke and my pain quickly went from a 4 to a 10, I promptly asked for my epidural. An hour later, the anesthesiologist showed up to give me my epidural. It was a little more uncomfortable to get my epidural than I expected, but all in all, it was no big deal until I realized with each passing contraction the pain wasn’t getting better; it was, in fact, getting worse.
My epidural failed.
With each passing contraction, the only way I could get through it was by singing Christmas songs (specifically, I want a hippopotamus for Christmas) in my head while humming.
It was during this time I wished that I had really researched laboring unmedicated so I could have had better coping skills and potential strategies for dealing with the pain just in case something like that happened.
After another nearly two hours, they ended up replacing the epidural, and the third attempt worked, and I was finally feeling less pain.
If you can’t eat in labor, prepare like a runner.
I’ve heard labor and delivery compared to a marathon multiple times before, but never in the way I’m about to compare it. Lots of people say things like labor is a marathon of a workout and that it is like a marathon is a really long workout.
I completely agree. I was in labor for twenty hours and pushing for two. It felt like a marathon.
And because it felt like a marathon, I wished I had prepared fuel like it was a marathon.
I have an old-fashioned doctor who believes it is best not to eat or drink anything during labor due to the risks of aspiration if the patient needs an emergency c-section. Which meant I wasn’t allowed to eat or drink anything.
Now, providers cannot force you not to eat or drink, but if you go against their recommendations, you are assuming that risk. However after a whole day of not eating I really could have used some fuel before or during pushing since it took so long.
I would have been willing to assume the risk slightly, but only for the right things.
Those things are:
Runners gel.
Hard candy or gum.
Runners gel is usually a blend of electrolytes and simple carbohydrates packaged into a 1oz or less squeeze packet. They are made for long-distance runners to replenish their electrolytes and glycogen stores during long runs.
Because labor is so much like a marathon, I think it would be the perfect thing to take right before pushing after a long labor. It's only an oz, so the risk of aspiration, even in the event of a c-section, would be extremely low, but it is enough fuel to help you keep going.
I think if I had something like a gel, It would have been easier for me to get through pushing because I was exhausted after not sleeping for over 24 hours and starving after not eating for 24 hours.
If you don’t actually want to eat a gel, another great option would be hard candy or gum. There were multiple times through my labor when my husband got to eat and I didn’t; I would have killed just to have a hard candy or two so I could be tasting something.
Should you both be in diapers?
Should you and the baby be in diapers when you come home from the hospital?
Everyone and their brother on my social media timelines was telling me that I should get adult diapers for postpartum instead of wearing the hospital mesh underwear and giant pads. So, when I was packing my hospital bag, I included adult diapers, and I also put a bunch more in my postpartum kit at home.
Well, it turns out not everyone loves adult diapers.
They were handy in the hospital because they were just less work to put on than getting the mesh undies, giant pad, and trying to hold it all together as you pull it up after every trip to the bathroom.
But after the hospital, when I got home, I hated them; I felt like they were way too bulky and uncomfortable. Not to mention, you basically needed to empty your bathroom trash every time you throw one away because they are so large.
So, once I figured out that I hated diapers, I had no clue what I wanted instead. I am a normal tampon user, so I had no idea what pads I preferred and what undies I wanted to put them in.
This is why I recommend buying small packages of a few different extra-long pads to try out because you don’t know what your preference will be, and it’s best to have options. Then, once you know what you like, you can buy in bulk because you’ll likely be bleeding for weeks.
Get your pills & favorite snacks now.
Your lady bits are going to hurt when you get home, and you're going to be sleeping less (or at least a much different schedule) than before the baby got here. For me, the pain definitely got worse the more exhausted or hungry I became.
Eventually, I figured out that I needed ibuprofen, Acetaminophen, water, and snacks within arm's reach at basically all times, or you might catch me crying just as much as my newborn baby.
This led me to leave a bottle of NSAIDs, water, and snacks next to the couch and next to my bed upstairs at all times. Then, no matter where I was, if I realized I was in pain or that it had been 17 hours since I had last eaten, I could quickly rectify the problem.
During the first few days, I would tell myself that I’d just eat when I settled the baby or when I finally got downstairs, but then I quickly realized that time might not come for hours. During the first few weeks, It would routinely be 3-4pm before I was eating or drinking for the first time that day, which isn’t great for your supply when you’re breastfeeding.
Keeping snacks, water, and NSAIDs in the few spots I frequented most saved my sanity and my milk supply.
Showering might help if you have to pee.
One thing I wasn’t expecting after having a baby is that those first few days, it can be hard to pee. Between the pain of postpartum and no longer having 8 lbs sitting on my bladder pushing it down, I had a hard time figuring out how to pee again.
It was like my bladder just forgot how to empty.
If it weren’t for a great nurse, I wouldn’t have this tip to share.
If you are finding it hard to pee or uncomfortable to sit on the toilet, just pee in the shower.
This was my saving grace each morning until my body figured itself out a few days postpartum. It was like I stepped into that nice, steamy, warm shower, and my body just remembered how to pee.
Make a list and check it twice.
Postpartum maternity leave can be incredibly overwhelming at times, incredibly lonely at times, and incredibly boring at times. I quickly realized I was going to need a few things to get through this time without losing my mind.
The things I needed:
My husband or support people to know how to support me.
Something to watch or listen to while I nursed the baby or pumped since I wouldn’t have my hands.
Things that made me happy.
I bet you’ll probably need similar things. I highly recommend creating a note on your phone or somewhere of things your support people can do to help you with the baby or that would just make you happy.
In mine, I included things my husband could do at any time to help me if I seemed overwhelmed:
Start the laundry.
Clean the bottles and pump parts.
Make me a meal.
Take the baby if I’m not feeding her.
I also included things that would just make me feel seen and less lonely.
Get me a fast food breakfast (with what I would order)
Get me coffee (with what I would order)
A list of my favorite snacks.
Instructions on how to make my favorite at-home coffee.
This way, my husband had a resource to turn to help me or make me feel better without having to ask.
Then, on another note, I started a list of shows I had never seen and podcast series I hadn’t listened to. That way, whenever I felt bored while feeding the baby, I had something to turn to without having to do a bunch of research.
There are ups and downs to this.
The final thing I want to say about postpartum and even labor and delivery is that there are ups and downs. One thing I really struggled with was thinking that this journey was going to be linear.
If Monday was better than Sunday, it made me think that for sure Tuesday was going to be better than Monday; however, that just isn’t the case.
Sometimes, your downstairs will feel like it’s getting better, and then maybe it will feel worse again the next day because you did too much. One night, the baby will sleep a four-hour chunk, then the next night, she won’t sleep more than an hour at a time. Each day is a different journey, and no two days will be the same.
Take each day as its own challenge, and don’t worry during a bad day that every day is going to be a bad day like. Likewise, when you are having a good day, don’t ruin tomorrow by convincing yourself that every day will be a good day. Every day will be a day.
Final thoughts
Being a mom is my new favorite thing and completely worth all of the challenges. You’ve got this!
Like I said in the beginning, if you are already a mom, leave a comment below about something you think would be helpful to new moms or soon-to-be moms.
Thanks for reading!